Why Do People with BPD Sabotage the Very Love They Crave?

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▶ Watch this video on YouTube  They want connection.

They fear abandonment.
They long for love — and then they push it away.

This painful paradox lies at the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In our latest video from Psychological.net, we explore why people with BPD often sabotage healthy relationships, even when they desperately want them to work.

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๐Ÿง  The Psychology Behind Self-Sabotage in BPD

People with BPD are often misunderstood. Their actions may seem irrational or manipulative from the outside — but beneath the surface, there’s often a deep well of trauma, fear, and emotional dysregulation.

In this video, we break down:

  • Why people with BPD may reject or lash out at those they love

  • The role of low self-worth and the hidden belief: “I don’t deserve love”

  • How fear of abandonment creates emotional panic, even in safe relationships

  • The impact of splitting — viewing others as all good or all bad

  • Why intimacy often triggers survival responses rooted in early trauma

  • How healing starts with understanding and safe connection


๐Ÿ” The Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Relationships with someone who has BPD often follow a tragic cycle:

  1. Idealization – You are perfect.

  2. Fear – You might leave.

  3. Sabotage – I’ll push you away before you hurt me.

  4. Regret and shame – I ruined it again.

  5. Repetition – The cycle begins again.

This cycle isn’t about cruelty — it’s about emotional survival. And this video helps make sense of the chaos.


๐Ÿ’ก Who This Video Is For:

  • People diagnosed with or questioning BPD

  • Loved ones who feel confused, hurt, or rejected by someone with BPD

  • Therapists and mental health advocates seeking better insight

  • Anyone interested in the intersection of trauma, relationships, and emotional behavior


❤️ Understanding Is the First Step Toward Healing

The goal of this video isn’t to excuse toxic behavior.
It’s to reveal what’s happening underneath — and how compassionate boundaries, self-awareness, and therapy can break the cycle.


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๐Ÿ‘‰ https://linktr.ee/Psychological.net

๐ŸŽง Background music: Meditation-style
๐ŸŽ™ Voice-over: Calm, empathetic narration

๐Ÿ“Œ Watch next: [Add related video title]


Disclaimer: This video is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or psychiatric advice. Please consult a licensed health professional for personal support.

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